And Other Crimes
COMING SOON
Strap yourself in. You’ve never attended a luncheon like those described within. Nobody leaves the table without a blemish to character or body.
Felix Underwood, brings to task his gaggle of guests, the stupendously rich, famous and incurably spoilt denizens of the Australian gliteratti. While the repugnant yet remarkable chef, Racine, transports to table a series of sumptuous meals, Felix’s gorgeous wife, Dymphna, appears sans clothes on more occasions than would be considered entirely necessary. Trudy, his shy PA, disports hidden talents. As they say, you must watch out for the shy ones. Let us not forget Fernando, Chateau Underwoods Galician gardener, who, among other things, Felix describes as a horticulturist’s arse. And last, but not least a mention must be made of Trudy’s father, Mordechai Festival, plumber to the stars and Felix’s best friend.
Included in a review from that August organ of renown, The Sydney Morning Hysteria – Every sentence is an affront to common decency. Don’t read a word if you have a heart condition, a dodgy spleen, or seafood allergies.
Not to mention this from La Cuisinaire – Get your mitts around the eating irons and enjoy The Abyss, Racine’s culinary masterpiece, and all will be revealed. Beware though of the White Piquepoul de Pinet, an infamous wine that has brought many a delicate soul to the gates of Bedlam.
The Evening Disquiet reported – Polishing the silverware at the sideboard, the ever-dependable Trudy stands alert to the minutest ripple in the universe. Will she deploy “The Iron Fist?” All I can offer is a warning—gird your loins.
The Catholic Digestible felt it necessary to comment on Mr. Underwoods lunch with Cardinel Schnell at the Chateau – Sadly, an introduction to the infamous Hunter Valley Claret, Bishops Knob, known to lay more than a few clergypersons low, was an outrage. CAUTION!! Devotees of the Christian faith will be scandalised. Craven irreverence most foul lies within these scurrilous pages, along with false regret.
Oscar Wilde once wrote – It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information. “I’m honoured to play my part in correcting this deficit,” opined Felix.
